Metaforming Confidence... Metaphor Therapy
Stand up for yourself
The Witch
     the Princess

Metaphor Therapy for Assertiveness

<< Metaphor Therapy

Therapy for People who can't say 'No'.

This transcript is from a session dealing with lack of confidence, a woman who could not say 'No' to any request. Many people have trouble sticking up for themselves, they let others use them and put up with everything without a murmer although inside they hate it and resent it.

The client was a young woman who could not contradict her boss, or refuse extra work, and could not speak up in a meeting if it meant disagreeing with someone else, even though she knew she was right. Socially, people abused her friendship, took over her life, her space and she just couldn't tell them to back off. She felt as if she had some terrible secret, that others would find out if she got noticed, if she spoke up.

This session shows a person refusing to give up a problem because doing so caused a bind, helping herself meant betraying someone she loved. The problem was successfully minimised into a tiny thing, but even then the client could not bring herself to get rid of it. So the client was then helped to find an acceptable method of destroying the representation, and was immediately released from the bind.





  ... introduction omitted....
What I would like you to do is to take a deep breath.... just take a deep breath and hold it... and then just haaahhhh... breath it out.....  
That's good... and now take another deep breath and hold it.... and this time as you breath out just allow your shoulders to slump down.... that's good... just get your self very comfortable...  
Now take another deep breath... and this time really let the whole of spine and chest turn to jelly.... and just haaahhhh relax.... that's good.. that's great.... you are doing very well... Eyelids fluttering... into a light trance
now just continue to breath normally... that's good...  
Focusing Section  
and now... Christina.... you said that you had a secret... you think you have a secret.... you feel you have a secret....  
I would like to think about that feeling that you have of having a secret.... just get in touch with that feeling... really go inside and think about that feeling you get when you know you have a secret....  
and just let me know when you have got that feeling...  
That's fine. Now that secret... I want you to really feel it inside your body somewhere... all of our feelings are embodied.... search around your body and see if you can find out where it is... and as you are doing it... don't think about it... don't force it... don't try to do anything special... just feel that feeling... get in touch with it... Somatic Response
and as you do you will begin to find that a word, or a phrase or a picture comes to mind... . maybe just a feeling come to mind... just become aware of youself... become aware of that feeling... how that feeling is experienced in you... and then let me know what you are getting.... Allowing time to develop...
Yep... I'm....  
So if that was a picture... what would it be a picture of? What would it look like? Seeking a metaphor
I'm just standing there.. and I felt really alone... like I can't... think.. I can't relate my situation... my feelings to other people... I can't tell them. [Crying, tears on cheeks]. Experiencing the emotion
And I feel really alone because I really don't want to tell people... like I don't... I feel like I can't ... I don't want to tell people... my background but I feel I'm not being honest about who I am... or where I have come from... or my strengths and weaknesses.... and I feel like my behaviour sometimes is associated with my background... and... I feel like no matter how hard I try it's like a tail and it sits there and I don't want it there... and I don't want to have my future associated with my past.... First metaphor... a TAIL
It's like a tail... and it just sits there.... Restatement
What else about this tail? Developing
It's... it's just frustrating...  
And this tail... what colour is it?  
[Laughs..] orange?  
... with black stripes... [laughs....]  
Orange with black stripes... so there's a tail with orange and black stripes... what else about it?  
Uhh... it's detachable... and I could take it off if I wanted to but I feel like it's my excuse for some sorts of behaviour... like if I feel like being frustrated.... or I don't wanna... learn to be myself sometimes or if I wanna be shy... it's my blanket or ... safeguard....  
So there's a tail and it's orange and black....and you feel like it's detachable, you could take it off... but you don't want to because sometimes it's an excuse for your behaviour... Restatement
Gives you a way of being shy... of letting you do things... it's like a blanket Restatement
It's my excuse.  
and it's your excuse....  
it's ... because in some ways I don't think I know how to disassociate myself with that tail...  
and you feel you don't know how to disassociate yourself from that tail... Restatement
And what would happen if you did disassociate yourself from that tail? Developing
I would be really happy... and in some ways I don't feel like I deserve to be that happy.... because in some ways I wouldn't relate to people that were part of my background and I don't wanna get rid of them...  
Uhuh, so if you got rid of that tail you would be really happy?  
But you are not sure that you deserve to be that happy....  
No. It's just slightly strange when I think about it...  
Could you detach that tail?  
I could detach that tail if I want to but I wouldn't know... I don't feel like I would know how to not have that as... I wouldn't know how to put that into another place where I no longer say "Yeah, that's my.. that history isn't going to bother me any more, and that's not going to be part of my future". I am still fearful of that tail in some ways.  
So you are still fearful of that tail...  
I'm fearf.... yeah, in some ways I feel like I'm fearful because... because I don't know how to tell if that would ever happen in my life again....  
So you don't know how to tell if that would ever happen in your life again...?  
No... I don't....  
So what would happen if this tail were to go away? Developing
I would... I would feel like I wouldn't have any excuses, but I would also feel like I'd be throwing away part of who I am... and in some ways I feel like I don't know how to use those strengths, be part of those stengths that I have.. without having it to be negative.  
So if that tail were to go away.... you would feel that you wouldn't have any excuses... Restatement
And if you didn't have any excuses what would happen? Developing
I would have to .... If I didn't have any excuses.... I would have to be like everybody else.... and just move forward... ummm... no excuses????.... In some ways though I feel like that tail is a trophy... but I feel like I can't tell it to anybody.... and if I do tell people it's like they see the... and I see also... the negative part and the sad part in how I feel.... that in some ways it's my trophy because I went through a lot of stuff to... to get rid of that... but at the same time I don't want get rid of it... I want to learn how to ... maybe in some ways I just have to feel.. like I have to know inside myself - "Hey, that's my trophy". Ambivalent about the tail = doesn't want to be rid of the problem, getting a benefit
So you have this tail.... More developing
it's orange and black and detachable... How long is it?  
Three and a half feet.  
Three and a half feet.  
How long has it been there?  
I think it has grown. I think it's like.. I don't know... it's like a feeling... the best way to describe it is... it's there and I sit on it and it's frustrating and when I'm around other people I feel like it's still there.... It's been there since childhood... it's been there for a very long time...  
So there's a tail and it's orange with black stripes and it's about three and a half feet long... and you have a feeling that it has grown and it has been there since childhood  
How thick is it?  
It's quite thick and it's like one of those fuzzy tails that children wear to pretend they are tigers  
So it's like one of those fuzzy tails that children wear  
yeah, and it's a velcro at the front  
and it's a velcro at the front  
I think in some ways I am wearing that tail because I feel like if I... it's like almost as if I am regressing... because I feel like in those areas I don't know how to be adult-like... I don't know how to get rid of that tail and just move forward... I think I have moved forward but in some ways it's just like I feel like a little girl... I'm scared... Today's problem is actually a childhood resource
So what would have to happen for you to be able to take that tail off and not be scared?  
I would have to... I would have to be, I guess the sort of princess that I always.... envisioned myself when I was a child... and I would [long pause...] I just have to get rid of it. I would have to find a way that I can see the strengths... eat the meat and spit out the bones kind of thing... see the good things and just let go of the bad things. New Symbol PRINCESS
So, if this princess was there.... could you eat the meat and spit out the bones?  
[laughs] yeah, I could. Everything would just be much...  
So the princess... what's the princess like?  
She is... I think she is my core...she's my strengths and she is beautiful  
So this princess is beautiful, she's your core.... and what else?  
She's like the little voice inside that's always told me that I can do it.  
She's at your core, she beautiful, she the little voice inside you that has always said you can do it.... and what else about that little princess?  
Well, she's not little... she's an adult... a female...she's beautiful Oops, my mistake.
What's the best thing about that princess?  
She's very positive... and also when I went through my initial counselling sessions she was the god that protected the box that I put all my negative feelings in. And then I would take it out when it was necessary but I feel like now... I feel like in some ways I haven't been opening that box... I haven't been using that thing... sticking things in that box... and she is there protecting that box.... and I just don't feel like I've been... using that, I haven't been thinking about it... New Symbol - BOX
So what colour is this box? Developing
It's an old trunk.  
An old trunk. And what else about that box?  
It's in an attic and it's got a ladder that goes up to the attic...  
So it's old trunk and it's in an attic and it's got a ladder that goes up to the attic.  
So what else about that box?  
It's old and it got like a seal... it's got metal things on the sides. It's got a big lock. And inside of it it's got like... I put all my negative feelings... and I have put a lot of my childhood negative feelings in there... and it's got dust that makes me feel better as well... dust makes her feel better(?)
So it's old trunk and it's in an attic and it's reached by a ladder and it's old and it's got metal things on the side and a lock and it's full of negative feelings.  
And there's no bounds in that box.. It's just everything goes in there... it's like the universe.  
There's no bounds and it's like the universe...  
What would you like to have happen to that box?  
[snorts] I would like to get rid of it, actually. I don't use it.  
So there's a box and you'd like to get rid of it....  
It makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel gross.  
And if you got rid of it... what would happen then?  
I'd feel very free.  
So if you got rid of this box, you'd feel very free.  
And you wouldn't feel guilty....  
No. And I'd feel like a princess, I'd feel like...  
And you'd feel like the princess, a princess who is adult and beautiful and at the core of you.  
Yeah. And guarding the box. New relationship
....and she's guarding the box.  
So you'd like to get rid of this box, and if you got rid of it you'd feel free  
And you'd feel like the princess....  
And if you felt like the princess then you wouldn't have to say no to things, you wouldn't have to hide from people and you wouldn't have secrets. Desired State
So this box that is in an attic that you reach by a ladder, it's got metal things on the side and a big lock.... and it's full of everything and it's boundless and it's like the universe... What would have to happen for that box to go away? For you to get rid of it?  
I'd have to make some very stern decisions, and follow through with them.  
You'd have to make some stern decisions.... what would 'stern decisions' look like?  
[incredulous] What would they look like? They'd look like a very black witch.  
They'd look like a black witch.  
Not an evil person, just a very decisive... and I just envisaged a witch for some reason.  
Look like a witch, uhuh... so could this black witch get rid of the box?  
How would the black witch get rid of the box?  
How would she get rid of the box?... The box would be gone by making decisions... by saying ... by just deciding and sticking up for myself in some ways and with some areas and like some family members that I feel guilty for not talking to... and the box would just ... it's like the princess is chained to the box.... and I'm scared of the witch... relationship: PRINCESS is chained to the BOX
the princess is chained to the box.... and you're scared of the witch... but the witch could make the box go away?  
The witch could make the box go away.  
How would she do that?  
By making those descisions.  
The witch could make the decisions?  
Yep. By just saying... 'Look, this is the way it is' and deciding and making those firm decisions inside me... me making those decisions inside myself...  
And this witch ... what else about a witch ... like?  
She's fast.  
She's fast?  
Yeah. And she's a very cliched witch, she's got a broom..... and she's like black and white. It's either black or it's white and that's the way it is. And that scares me because in some ways I like to know why it's black and white and I like to know why it's grey. And I am scared about what would happen if I made it black or white.  
So there's a witch, she's black and white, got a broom stick, she's a cliched witch.... and you're scared of that witch and you are scared because she is black and white Confirming
What would happen if she were grey? Developing
She won't be a witch. If she was grey... then there would be no way of getting rid of box.... she can't be grey... because she knows... she's like my indecision... she knows....  
So when she is black can she get rid of the box? Developing
When she's black? Could she get rid of the box?  
Well, yeah, I guess if she was black she could get rid of the box...  
And when she is white could she get rid of the box? Developing
No I don't think she could get rid of the box if she was white because in some ways there would be some negative effects if she was.... with her decsion making.  
Now suppose she was black, she got rid of the box... what would happen then? Developing
If she was white and she got rid of the box.... [pause] .. she can't get.... if she was white and she got rid of the box... she can't get rid of the box so she's white... sorry! [laughs].  
And when she is white does she have a broomstick Developing
What does she have? Extending
She's the princess.  
The princess. Restatement
So when the witch is black she can get rid of the box, and when she is white she is the princess? Clarification
So this box, that's in an attic and it's reached by a ladder up to the attic and it's got metal bits on the side and a big lock and it's full of negative feelings.. how big is that box? Developing
It's just an average sized box, it's not larger than that coffee table...  
So it's an average sized box... and is it the same on all the sides? Looking for entry points
Yeah, it's brown.... a very standard looking box.  
So it's brown and it's standard looking.... Can you imagine that box shrinking a little? Attempting to generate change
Yep, it could get smaller.  
It could get smaller  
It could be smaller  
And if that box got a bit smaller... could you imagine it getting a bit smaller still? Pushing the change
How small could that box get?  
It could get very small.  
And if it was very small, could the black witch get rid of it? Confirming
Yes, she could... quite easily.  
And if it was very small, could the white witch get rid of it? Developing
Yes, the white witch wouldn't really care.  
So the white witch could get rid of it... and if the white witch got rid of it, what would happen then? Progressing
If the white witch got rid of it... then she would know that she wasn't... she would know that she could still stick up for herself... that it's not a negative thing to... it could be negative for some people but she really wouldn't care...  
So she wouldn't care...  
So just think about it... can the white witch get rid of that box that's very small?  
Yes. Well the white witch could... cause she really wouldn't care. Transformation!
And if the white witch and the black witch both applied... what would happen  
I think the black witch and the white witch are the same witch but it would be like the colours would... like there is one side black and one side white...  
so just look at the edge where they join... black and white  
I think it could be striped down the middle, but the colours would start coming together...  
and the colours would start coming together.... and then what?  
[laughs] I think it would be a great witch.... maybe marbley grey....  
and what happens to the box when there is a marbley grey witch?  
The box isn't there if there's a marbley grey witch... Symbol gone
If the box isn't there is there a marbley grey witch... Testing for other symbol
If the box isn't there there would be a marbley grey witch...  
And if there's a marbley grey witch, what happens to the princess?  
No, the princes is the witch.  
The princess is the witch.  
And is the princess still chained to the box?  
And what has happened to the box?  
The box got squashed. !
Got squashed....  
And what would you like to have happen to that squashed box now? Deleting the box symbol
Burn it. Getting rid of the box
Burn it.... And can you burn it?  
Tell me how you would burn it.  
Well I would definitely put some thought into it, I wouldn't just go and burn it.. I would make up a bunch of potions and I would really think about how I would burn the box.... and I'd make sure that it really wrecked the box... it would sizzle....  
So you'd make up the potion and think about it and the box would sizzle and be wrecked... and what would be left?  
Just ashes.  
And what could happen to the ashes?  
They could blow away... I would go somewhere and I would make a big thing about it and I would get rid of them.  
And the ashes would blow away?  
And so there is nothing left of the box?  
And you have made the potions and it has sizzled and it's all gone?  
So the box has gone? Testing if cleared totally
[long pause] The box has gone... and the tail isn't there .... and in some ways... in a funny way I'm the black and white witch... I think I've got... I've mean sides and I've positive sides but they are pretty grey. I'm not a black witch and I'm not a perfectly white fairy, or princess, I'm a person with black and white areas. I feel like a spotted cow. But I'm not a cow.  
So you're a person with black areas and white areas and mixed areas....  
The same way a cow can be spotted...  
.... and they're born spotted.  
And so does that mean that you are grey marbled now?  
Yeah, I'm grey marbled... but there are black and white areas as well.  
And how does that make you feel?  
I don't feel like overjoyed... I feel like I can deal with that... that I don't need to be perfect, I don't need to be an absolute scary witch, I can be... it makes me feel like... like I'm earthy, natural.  
So it makes you feel like you're earthy, and natural...  
And I can control my black or white spots.  
And you can control your black or white spots.... and controlling your black or white spots, how does that make you feel?  
It makes me feel good, I feel happy... but I don't feel like I could... I do feel I could, but I don't think I am going to run down the streets and be all excited...  
But it makes you feel good and it makes you feel happy?  
It makes me feel slightly relieved. Not entirely resolved
So where's the princess now? Testing symbols are cleared
The princess is me. It's in my core. It's me. Inside.  
So where's the tail? Testing symbols are cleared
[laughs] The tail's not there! The tail can't be there.  
And the box? Testing symbols are cleared
The box isn't there. I have a visual of the box, but I don't feel like the box is...mmmm Box not completely gone
You have a visual of the box, can you imagine that box being utterly destroyed... that visual....  
I can visualise it, but I like it's... I feel like I... still want it to be there... I don't.... Secondary gain
Uhuh.. so this box, that you visualise and you feel like you still want it to be there... what's it like now? Restatement
I can see myself stomping on it.  
Uhuh. And what colour is it? Developing the symbol
It is dark. dark = metaphor for bad
It's dark....and what else?  
I see a foot stomping on it.  
You see a foot stomping on it.... and what else about that foot?  
It's bare.  
It's a bare foot....  
And what else?  
It's a historic bare foot. There's no shoe on it or anything, and it's a bare leg. Somatised memory.
So a bare leg and a bare foot stomping on a dark box.  
I feel like I need to do more than just.... I feel like I could burn it and I want to burn it and I want to stomp on it I want to throw it out and I want to make sure that box gets a lot of wear and tear before I actually say 'yeah the box isn't there'.  
OK. And can you give it a lot of wear and tear?  
Yes and I would absolutely enjoy it.  
So why don't you give it a lot of wear and tear, now.  
[very long pause]  
[emotional] OK.  
So tell me what's on your mind now.  
[wonderingly] Just a real hatred for that box. A real... but I don't feel like it's a tail... I just...  
And what would you like to have happen to that box? Progressing
Well.... I want to see it in a jail cell... I want to see it there, and I want to see it... I want to know that I made sure that it... it can't just be destroyed.... but it doesn't have power over me. But I want to see it, and I want to see that it's... I wanna make sure that it doesn't just get it's just deserts and then it is gone...  
So if it was in a jail cell, and you could see it in the jail cell....  
would it then have no power over you?  
No. No power. And it could never get out.  
And it could never get out.  
And it just wouldn't be possible. That's really black and white... it just wouldn't be possible.  
So if it was jail and it could never get out and it was absolutely impossible to get out... what would happen then? Progressing
I would feel power... I would be in control.  
You would feel power and control.  
So you would have power and control if that box was in a jail cell.... and could never get out...  
Yeah. And I wouldn't go and see it all the time... I'd just stop thinking about it.... I'd just get rid of it... but I'd know that it was sitting there, and the princess wasn't chained to it, it wasn't an attic, that I felt like... it just sits there and grows dust and the princess and the black witch they.. the black witch is like I don't want to unleash it and the princess is freaked out and scared but the box would sit there... because I couldn't just destroy it, I'd want it to sit there and be absolutely miserable, but it wouldn't be me being miserable, I'd just know that I... got rid of it.... Mmmm.  
So if it was in jail and it was miserable and it was locked away forever and it could never get out...  
... and you would then feel power...  
... and if you felt power, what would happen?  
I'd feel like I... I could do anything....  
So if you had power you could do anything...  
and I wouldn't even need excuses... because I just don't need it. Desired State
And you wouldn't need any excuses then? If you had power.  
I'd feel control.  
You'd feel control.  
A positive control... not like I'm trying to control people... just get rid of it. And I would love to know that I could... that it was sitting there and I could look at it if I ever wanted to and I'd know that I had power over it, that I said 'It's like you're sitting there, and it's like your bad corner'.  
So if the dark box was in the jail... what does the box think?  
The box thinks that it wished it had never did that to me. The box is miserable and guilty and it feels... remorse... and it doesn't even have claws any more... it can't even be vengeful....  
So the box has no claws any more?  


It can't be vengeful.  
And it wished it had never done that...  
And it is humiliated.  
And humiliated.... And it has no power  
So what happens to the box when it has no power? And it is remorseful and it knows it will never get out and it wishes it never did it....  
Sometimes I wouldn't even... it's like a big land... I could visit it if I wanted to ... but I don't need to....  
You could visit it if you wanted to...  
Cause I would know that the box is there... and it wouldn't be able to get out of it easily, ever. But because I'm a nice person, and I am a good person I don't need to... I don't need to feel vengeful... but I have control and power over it...  
And how would the box feel if it knew that?  
It would feel like ... the thing off the Lord of the Rings.... that weird little alien thing... I don't know what it's called...  
Yep. Gollum. Where it would sometimes feel like it could try to get me but it just wouldn't because I'm a good person, I couldn't kill something, I couldn't kill a box, I couldn't destroy life... but it would never... It would have this thumb on it... it would never ever get out Self limiting belief
But could you change the box? Bad question - 'you' takes her out of symbolic thinking.
Could I change the box? she's now in the present
Could you change it in such a way that it would absolutely never get out?  
Yes, it would never get out.  
How would you change it?  
With my mind.  
In what way would you change it? Better question
There wouldn't be a bridge or gates or like that to keep it in... it would... with my mind... well there would be long walls... clear walls, because I wouldn't ... because if there were people going by the box... and it was a being.... it, it would be humiliated. back into symbolic thinking
So if people are going by and that box is humiliated... and it felt remorse and it was sorry and it wished it had never done those things to you... and it really, really was humbled....  
and it felt small inside....  
It could get on with its life in a box. But it wouldn't ever be able to get out... that would be its punishment. Just being there, itself.  
And where would you put it so that it could never get out?  
It would be... well I wouldn't want it to take any part in my mind, definitely.  
You could move it all the way out of your mind... it won't have to be there at all....  
No, but I would know that it was there, but it wouldn't control me, it wouldn't take any part of my mind. And it would be on a sort of island. Symbol ISLAND
And it would be on an island.  
Yep. And it would have what it needed but it would have any more, and it would never get out. Never be able to get out.  
And it would still feel remorse and humiliated and humble.  
And it would feel bad all the time.  
Well that's it's power. If it wants to feel bad all the time it can. But that's not my problem.  
So that box isn't your problem any more?  
No. Nor is its feelings.  
You just don't care.  
No. I won't let myself care.  
And you could stop thinking about it?  
Yes. And I could think about it if I wanted to, but it wouldn't have power over me.  
And this island... where is it?  
If I see... if there's a map then it's to the left and it's on the side....  
And how far away is it?  
It's as far away as I want .... it's accessible... and I'm not..... [curious] I wonder if I could go into that island? And if it would affect me?  
Why don't you try that?  
Why don't you take your power and your control and that feeling that you can do anything, and you don't need any excuses... just go to that island.  
[long pause] I don' think I would ever be friends with that box or being or.... I don't think that box or being could ever have power over me... really... because I am bigger than it.  
How big is that box in relation to you?  
It's actually quite small compared to who I am now.  
Uhuh. What kind of size is it?  
It's actually like.... [laughs, surprised] a little.... thing... I could squish it I wanted to, but I don't want to. Still reluctant to get rid of the problem
If you did squish it, what would happen? Accidently, say? Trying alternatives
There would be guts all over the floor, it would be like a one inch, two inch thing...  
And then what would happen?  
It wouldnt' be there...  
Wouldn't be there at all....  
No, actually quite funny thing [laughs]  
So it would be quite funny to actually squish it.  
Yes it would actually. Because if I went and I did purposefully I wouldn't feel right about it, but if it happened by accident... Evading the sense of guilt from destroying the problem
Like you just stepped backward or something and it was so small that you just squish it....  
That would be the funniest thing in the world actually....  
I think I would laugh about that for years.  
So you could accidently just step back and squish it and the guts would be all over the floor... and you'd just laugh  
So funny..  
It would be funny  
That you went there all that way and you accidently... and you would laugh....  
Yeah, I'd just laugh.  
So ironic.  
And can you imagine those guts just lying there under your heel, squashed... like 'Ooops, sorry!'  
Yeah. I wouldn't even feel guilty.  
No, you wouldn't feel guilt at all.  
I don't know if I would actually clean it up. I clean things up. I don't think I would clean it up. I don't think it would be worth my effort.  
So what would you do instead?  
[Laughs, incredulous] I would just walk away. Let the birds take care of it.  
So the birds would clean it up, and it would all be gone.  
Yep. And the birds wouldn't feel hungry, they would feel satisfied.  
That would be good.  
It wouldn't hurt them.  
So that thing's gone completely.  
Yeah. Symbol deleted.
So what the birds would just fly out over the ocean...  
Just go...  
And what would you do?  
I'd walk away and I'd just laugh. I would laugh and I would feel like.... that little thing was soooo mean to me when I was a child... and now... I was scared of shadow... and now it's gone... and I think that's funny. I will feel somewhat like 'Oh I wish I hadn't spent so much time on that stupid little shadow or thing that was there.... But at the same time I would feel like... It would be funny I wouldn't let any more time pass me by..... because it is little... really.  
So do you still have a secret?  
I think my secret would be that I accidently squished the little... [laughs]  
But that makes you laugh....  
it does make me laugh....  
So are you still scared of people... that they would know your secret?  
No. I feel more a little piece of joy  
So are you scared of what people will think of you now?  
[embarrassed laugh] No....  
So do you feel you could say 'No' to somebody?  
Yeah. I think I could.  
Do you have to be a real people pleaser?  
[dismissively] No.  
So if you had a friend wanted to come over and wouldn't go home, what would you do?  
I think I am just going to be honest, and say... I've got things to do.  




Talking to the client the following week confirmed that the feeling of not being able to confront anyone about anything had gone, and she was feeling free to enjoy life.